The Role of Play

It can be fun to be under authority

I got spanked this weekend.

It was for nothing specific, just a sense of being less submissive, a slight straying from a right attitude.

It didn't hurt really. Three little open-handed swats that slightly stung and caused no more than a startled gasp. Much better than the dreaded punishment spanking and quite possibly just as effective.


Play spanking in a marriage serves to remind both the husband and the wife of their roles in the relationship. In a true Christian Domestic Discipline marriage, punishment spanking should become increasingly infrequent as time goes on. A Christian wife is an intelligent being who is as concerned with pleasing God as is her husband. She knows that to disobey her husband is to disobey God, to disrespect her husband is to disrespect God. As a woman dedicated to pleasing God, she is just as concerned with pleasing her husband. Thus, there should be little need for her husband's correction.

By the same token, a Christian husband is concerned with loving his wife as himself. He is patient with her and leans more toward mercy than punishment. To quote my own dear husband, "A man should pick up the rod only as a last resort."

However, as everyone knows, just being a Christian does not make us perfect. Wanting to do well does not always cause us to do well. A spanking for punishment is unpleasant both for the wife receiving the pain as well as the husband who is forced to give it. It should be avoided if at all possible without compromising the integrity of the marriage. One of the ways we've found to do this is through play.

Those three little swats immediately put my heart in the right place. It reminded me I was lying next to a man who can and will take up the rod if he is forced to it. It reminded me of his authority and his right to rule in our home. And to be transparently honest with you, it greatly increased my sexual awareness of him as a man.

It is a win-win situation for us. It improves our relationship both in and out of the bedroom, and it avoids an unpleasant situation that could lead to a punishment session that is painful for us both (only in different ways).

I highly recommend it.